Television

Suburgatory 2×13: Valentine’s Day Hide Away

Suburgatory 2x13: Blowtox and Burlap

Suburgatory 2×13: Blowtox and Burlap

Suburgatory 2×13: Blowtox and Burlap
Right, the photo. Sorry about that. But at least now you know why Dallas dramatically hides away on Valentine’s Day. And why you should not blame her. After a blowtox session (it’s this new thing) gone wrong, Dallas can’t face her boyfriend on their first V-Day together. Lesson learned, no blowtox for me. Not that I had my appointment scheduled or anything. No really, I didn’t.

George though, is up for nothing like hiding. He has big plans involving a (yucky) very expensive 18 course dinner from chef Julio. And there’s obviously nothing more romantic than pig hearts and blood… Dallas is a lucky woman, but mostly because she is not able to make dinner this evening, if you ask me. Don’t tell George I said that. Dallas keeps making excuse after excuse after paper head bag for ditching her Valentine date, but eventually has to face the truth.

Tessa and Ryan also spend their first Valentine’s Day together and are still deciding on their plans. While Ryan’s idea of mentally supporting insecure MILFS sounds très romantique, Tessa would rather like to see an art house movie, with just the two of them. Not something Ryan normally gets very excited about, but who can turn down caramel corns and gummy bears? Combined.
In the end things turn out not like you’d expect them to turn out.

It’s no Valentine, but Shmalentine for Sheila Shay as her mom pays an unexpected early visit. While Fred is busy being way too close to his mother-in-law, Sheila puts her energy into helping Malik getting Lisa back. Which weirdly didn’t happen already after a mind-blowing flashmobmop performance of Who’s Lovin’ You. But do not underestimate love on the most romantic day of the year. *Bursts into singing The Power of Love by Jennifer Rush*

Is it just me? I expected Valentine’s Day in Chatswin to be VALENTINE’S DAY IN CHATSWIN. You know, big, extravagant, overly Valentine-y, weird mostly. And while it still was pretty weird here and there, I’m just really glad they kept it toned down. In terms of Chatswin I mean. – 7/7,5

This week’s favorite quote
– Dalia: “Remember that guy in Florida who got his entire face eaten off by an alligator, and then had reconstructive surgery, and then when the picture surfaced everyone was like, “Wait, this is after the surgery? What the hell did he look before the surgery?”” Dallas: “Yeah?” Dalia: “Well, if that guy had a baby with the Elephant Man and that baby got really old and then something on that baby got infected, that would be you.” Dallas: “Aah, well thanks for your honesty. Aah.” Dalia: “Mommy, you’re really disgusting.”

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