New Girl 2×23: Virgins
After Nick freaks out about Jess having a date with a guy named Teddy who she lost her virginity to, the group starts spilling their First Time stories trying to find out who’s experience was the worst. This basically means a lot of hilarious flashbacks with some great music choices and some insight about the characters they are today. The show has been performing great these past few weeks and this week is no exception.
Naturally model Cece had her first time with a celeb, to be more specific Mick Jagger. But we learn later that she is very nervous of doing the deed with the inexperienced Shivrang. So she tries to put it off as long as possible. If your Runaway Bride alarm isn’t ringing like crazy by now, you have not been paying attention.
Schmidt’s first time was with Big Girl during college. Of course Fat Schmidt was nervous as hell, he even bought a big jar of lube and had a talk with Nick about it. I actually loved the nowadays commentary during their stories. Especially when Nick told he was a Daver, haha. Unfortunately for Schmidt his first time became quite slippery because of the lube and having your high roommate trying to slip out wasn’t helping either. Jess pointed out nicely that Schmidt was depending on a lot of extra stuff when having sex. It shows that behind the douchebag slim Schmidt there is still a big part of the insecure Fat Schmidt left. Although he took a big step asking Big Girl to plain Jane it this time, but he looked relieved when she said it was okay to use his Archduke.
It’s actually hard to decide who’s story was the worst. It’s a tie between Jess and Winston. Apparently Nick’s dad hired two hookers to deflower his son and his best friend while being on a business trip in New York. Winston was such an awkward teenager and he has some serious trouble with recognizing the truth when it’s right in front of him. It was actually quite funny to see when Nick finally got through to him about Mysteria and Octopussy being hookers. Nick actually didn’t hook up with his hooker Octopussy. Which showed us how sensitive Nick can be sometimes. His first time was probably the most normal experience (or at least with the least crazy details) and him telling about it to Jess was kind of sweet. Plus his father’s advice was very sweet too.
Of course Jess story is all over the place. She decide to get her V-card clipped after the prom, but with a crazy and insecure date it isn’t working. Luckily she runs into Teen Wolf’s Dylan O’Brien down the hall. He is amazing during the whole episode. First he plays the guitar and a few years later he shows up in the same bar like a handsome stranger. Not having a place to hook up he and Jess end up in a toy castle, where he isn’t able to perform. To make things worse they get stuck in the castle and are discovered by a group of kids at a birthday party. But hold your breath, Jess didn’t lose her virginity to him. She lost it to the fireman who saved her! Yes, Teddy is a fireman, which threatens Nick even more. So he decide to act and not think about it… he intercepts the elevator, picks Jess up and walks back to her bedroom. With Ellie Goulding’s music “Anything Could Happen” it became the magical moment all the Jess and Nick shippers were waiting for. Ruh-roh, how will everyone respond when they find out about Nick and Jess?! Can’t wait for next week. – 9
This week’s favorite quote
Schmidt: “I haven’t had sex with her since I was fat and accessing my penis was like getting the remote control out of the couch.”
Nick: “Sometimes I just sit in the stall and listen to you guys. Who’s Teddy?” Schmidt and Winston: “Makes sense.”
Schmidt: “Nick, you and Jess didn’t work out, okay? www[dot]MoveOn[dot]org.” Nick: “Yeah, ‘ww’… It’s not about that, just…” Winston: “Chill out.” Nick: “Yeah, no. Thanks.”
Nick: “Yeah, he stole a flower from you? And you want to have drinks with him? Oh, from your wonderful secret garden.”
Schmidt: “Tuxedo is different than a suit.”
Jess: “Schmidt, have you ever considered not using lube and some giant sex toy, and just being with her?” Schmidt: “Plain Jane-ing it? Yeah, okay.”
Schmidt: “Elizabeth and I have been talking, and we plan on merging tonight.”
Nick: “Thank you for the offer, Ms. Octopussy, but I-I don’t drink. I prefer to be drunk on life.”
Nick’s dad: “Listen, Nicky, you don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to do. I just want to make sure that you don’t miss out on the things in life that are happening when you’re not thinking. Because, believe you me, those are the best things in life.”